


Let Me Go

by gongiwoo



Category: Glee, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: M/M, Minor Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Minor Santana Lopez/Brittany Pierce, Unrequited Jeff Sterling/Sebastian Smythe, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 03:26:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gongiwoo/pseuds/gongiwoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Hunger Games AU </p><p>He had one more year. He was the worst at training, one of the other guys would volunteer this year, they were suposed to.<br/>But they didn't.<br/>And so begins the tragedy of Sebastian Smythe the District 1 joke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the new revised version with better characterization, writing and spelling/grammar. 
> 
> I started this nearly 4 years ago, I was 15 and not experienced in writing, this was my first fic. 
> 
> I'm 19 now, and I've fallen in love with this crazy cross over story all over again and I am super excited to be updating it to a new and old audience. 
> 
> For those who remember the old Gongiwoo, welcome back, for those of you who are new, it's a pleasure to meet you. 
> 
> Either way I hope you enjoy.

"Lucy Fabray"

The words ring out through the square as the crowd of kids part to make way for the blonde haired girl Sebastian recognizes from training. 

Silence continues as she makes her way up to the stage in front of the glimmering Justice building, a smile of satisfaction visible on her flawless face. Lucy Fabray is deadly; everyone in District 1 knows that. There is no way any of the other 18 year old girls would dare volunteer to take her place, especially since she practically had a sure chance of winning.  

The overly perky Capital woman on stage grins, clearly happy with the tribute that had bean chosen. 

"And now for the boys" she muses, making a show of putting her hand into the glass reaping bowl. 

There is a silence. A silence that seems to go on forever. He looks around his section, 17 year olds grin back at him maliciously as if they know something he didn't. Sebastian’s stomach drops, there was no way, and it wasn’t even possible for them to-

"Sebastian Smythe"  

Sebastian freezes as he waits for the inevitable. One of the training stars will take his place. _Surely_. He still has another year.

Right?

More silence. He still doesn't move, still waiting for someone to call out. Someone, anyone. Two peacekeepers walk towards him, grabbing his arms firmly, pushing him towards the stage. 

There is nobody volunteering, they are leaving him for dead.

With another shove they push him onto the stage, where the ridiculously dressed Capital woman steps forward and montions him to shake hands with Lucy, as District 1’s previous victor and now mentor eyeing him curiously.

Jeff Sterling.

Sebastian can remember the games he won well, in fact it had only been a few years ago. Everyone remembers that games, mainly because for the first time in nearly 70 years it had looked like District 1 wasn't even going to make it into the top 5 tributes. His counterpart had died in the bloodbath within the first few minutes and Jeff had played stupid, really, really, stupid. 

It wasn't until he silently killed all the careers in their sleep that anyone even thought of him as a threat. 

So Sebastian naturally found his gaze more than a little unnerving. 

"Ladies and Gentleman your District 1 tributes!" The Capital women squeals before peacekeeper escort them away into the Justice Building. Sebastian watches, his eyes fixed on his District 1, his home, getting one last glimpse of it before he's forced into the building, the doors shutting, leaving the world he knows far behind.

They separate the two tributes, leaving Sebastian in a fairly luxurious room with a few minutes to say goodbye

And that’s when he really starts to panic.

Sobs wrack his whole body; he collapsed to the ground. He doesn’t want to die. Death terrifies him. He isn’t like them, he can’t fight, he isn’t amazingly strong or lighting fast. He is a coward, he knows it, and it is going to get him killed. 

“Sebastian!”

Mr Smythe bursts through the doors, eyes erratic and face tear stained and blotchy. 

“Daddy,” Sebastian croaks throwing himself into his father’s arms, he hasn't called him that since he was seven but fuck his dignity right now. 

“I had another year Daddy, another year-"

“I know Bastian, I know.” his dad coos, stroking his hair.

They stay like that for what seems like only a few short seconds before Sebastian’s father pulls away.

“Alright, strategy time, how  are you going come home alive?” Mr Smythe sighs, attempting composing himself

Sebastian sniffles, whipping away hot tears tears.

“I don’t fucking know.”

“Well what can you do?” his father asks him and Sebastian can tell that he's just as scared as he is.

“Nothing! I spent the majority of my training time sucking guys off in the bathrooms Dad.” Sebastian snaps, he doesn't mean for it to come out so vicious but his emotions are all over the place and whatever filter he used to have is long gone.

Mr Smythe sighs, running his fingers through his own dark blonde hair. 

“Then give them a show, you go out there, charm the living shit out them; they love that sort off stuff in the Capital. Stay with the careers, make half the tributes fall in love with you and just train as much as you can in whatever time they give you to do it, ok?”

“So be me basically?” Sebastian says shakily, tears threatening to spill again.

Mr Smythe cracks a half smile, letting out a choked sobbed.

“Yeah just be you,” 

Peacekeepers burst in trying to escort Mr Smythe out of the room; he fights against them, desperate to have a few more seconds with his only son.

“Sebastian I love you! Me and your Ma are so proud of you.”

Ma. His mother. His Father hadn’t talked about her for a long time, neither of them did. It was better that way. The only memories he had of the women now was the smell of her perfume she made and wore. He used to insist that he would become a perfumer just like her one-day and when she had died so suddenly with practically no explanation he had stolen some of her perfumes so all he had to do to remember her was smell the bottles. 

As Sebastian is escorted to the train station he tries to concentrate on remembering her in the hope that it will distract him enough to turn his expression into an indifferent mask for the cameras. With one last longing look at District 1 he steps onto the train, the big metal doors slamming shut behind him.

He wonders if he just saw that train station for the last time. 

The train begins to move, his stomach doing a small flip as it adjusts to the sudden speed. The same District 1 representative soon greets him along with Lucy, explaining that they have everything at their disposal and that they will be having supper before they met with their mentor. She then bounces out of the room leaving the two of them alone in the luxurious train car.

“It must suck for you” Lucy says after a while sitting herself in one of the plush chairs around the car.

“What must suck for me?” He asks bluntly, sitting himself down in one of the other chairs.

“Do you know how many possible victors gave up their chance this year just so they could do this to you?” she deadpans

“A lot?” Sebastian retorted

“I overheard all the guys in training a few days ago, they all made a pact not to volunteer if you got reaped.” Lucy explains calmly almost as if they were discussing something as petty as the weather. 

Sebastian wants to be surprised by that, really he does. But with his tendency to say whatever he wants and sleep with majority of the guys around his age it generally doesn’t surprise him that he had enemies. He just isn’t a very likeable person.

“And why on earth would they do that Lucy?” he asks feigning surprise

Lucy rolls her eyes, obviously sensing that he is clearly patronising her.

"Firstly call me Quin and secondly maybe because you broke one of their idy-bidy hearts by sleeping with the other's brother?” Quin pointed out 

“Don’t I do that all they time though?” Sebastian questioned 

“Yeah but it wasn’t freaking Silia, the strongest possibility for District 1 tribute, who was supposed to volunteer this year”  

“Silia is in love with me?”

“He _was_.”

“Whoops.”

Quin laughs darkly “Yeah whoops indeed, don’t you ever think?”

He's already beginning to hate her.

“Clearly not.” Sebastian mumbles

 

* * *

 

Supper is quiet and rather awkward, the Capital woman who he finds out is named Augustine tries to make polite conversation and their soon to be mentor remains oddly silent through the whole meal. Soon Augustine seems to get bored and excuses herself in an ever so chirpy tone that irritates Sebastian to no end. It isn’t until she has left the room that Jeff finally speaks.

“So what do we have here?” Jeff sighs pushing aside his food

Quin pipes up, flicking back her blonde hair as she spoke  “Well I’m Quin Fabray and that’s Sebastian-“

 _Yep, he definitely hates hate her._  

“I know who you are princess.” Jeff laughs making her frown “I mean what can you two actually do?”  

“Well I am brilliant with a bow and arrow, I never miss a target, and Sebastian can charm the pants of anything and can throw a spear a mile with his eyes closed.” Quin explains

Wait he could do _what_ now? Sebastian sucks a spear throwing; she _knows_ that, what is she-

“I see, clearly some useful skills I’ve got here.” the blonde haired mentor turns to Sebastian with the same expression from the reaping “Got anything to add Sebastian? You’ve been awfully quiet over there”

Sebastian freezes. _Don’t say anything dumb, don’t say anything dumb._

“I know few things you could do to make me louder.”

_So much for that._

Quin looks at him in shock horror and Sebastian hopes that the ground would swallow him up. Why, oh why, had he just said that.

Jeff laughs, “Well aren’t you a real charmer? I think there are rules against that honey otherwise I so would.” Jeff winks

Quin by this point looked absolutely horrified, even Sebastian is taken back by the fact that his stupid, stupid line had kind of _worked_.

“Anyways in regards to strategy just stick with the Careers for majority of the Games then when it’s just you guys, kill and don’t look back, may I suggest training with District 2 and least getting them to semi trust you and you should be fine” Jeff drawls lazily taking a sip from one of the drinks on the table “Well, I’ll see you two tomorrow bright and early, cheerio.”

And with that Jeff gets up from the table and waltzes out of the room, drink still in hand.

Quin gives him a look of death.  

“Well congratulations you almost got our mentor to sleep with you.” 

Sebastian gives her one right back.

“It was an accident,  and why did you tell him I could throw spears?” he snaps. 

“Well excuse me for trying to make you look less like a joke than you already are,” she hisses “Look we all know your going to die but at least while your alive can you _try to_ not turn District 1 into the laughing stock of Panem?”

Her words hit Sebastian harder than they really should. She is right though, he is going to die, he had signed his own death warrant when he messed with Silia, and the least he could do was try and salvage what was left of his dignity.

“And what the fuck am I meant to do at training then?” 

“Learn how to throw a spear,  quickly too.” she growls and then storms out of the dinning room. 

Sebastian wanders through the train back to his room. He takes a hot shower, turning the water up hot enough that it is scolding his skin. Mentally screaming at himself for his dumb comment to Jeff, for sleeping with most of the male population of District 1, for getting himself into this mess, for causing his father the heart ache of losing his only son now as well as his wife. He thinks about how his mother would feel if she saw him now, how disappointed she would be that her baby boy had now became nothing more than a pathetic joke who had brought his own death upon himself. Sebastian steps out of the shower, pulling on something to sleep in from the drawers in the carriage and throwing himself into the bed, falling into a restless, nightmare filled sleep.   

_The water was too murky for him to see in, it filled his lungs and his senses more with every cough a splutter. Tried to swim, tried to fight the waves but they just kept throwing him around. He started sinking, he tried to fight against but she kept going deeper and deeper into the darkness. Then there was light, blinding pink light and then voices, screaming at him and they just kept screaming and yelling at him and there was just so much noise and-_

Sebastian wakes up drenched in cold sweat, screaming his lungs ragged. 

It's still dark, but Sebastian figures there is no way he is going to sleep anyway so he might as well get up. He has a cold shower, waking himself up and washing away the remaining memories of the nightmare before getting dressed in a pair of jeans and grey sweater. He wanders outside of his room quietly, making his way into the dining car to see if he can find any left overs. As he enters the dimly lit room he can see Jeff, feet up on the table, sipping something from a mug which smelled strongly like coffee.

"You're up a bit early." Jeff says with a smirk as Sebastian stands in the doorway awkwardly.  

"Couldn't sleep." Sebastian mutters

"Oh I bet you couldn't."  Jeff motions to the empty seat across from him "Take seat."

Sebastian complies. 

"Coffee?" 

"No thank you." Sebastian replies quietly. 

"So here's what I don't get" Jeff takes another sip of coffee, "You're really quiet most of the time, reserved, fairly polite and then suddenly you come out with most _raunchy_ comment I've ever heard from a tribute." 

Sebastian remains silent. 

"See what I mean? Also your the first male District 1 tribute to not volunteer and you practically had to be forced to go up there, so it seems like it wasn't supposed to be your year," Jeff continued "Which then begs the question of why nobody volunteered this year, I mean surely someone more willing was there?" 

Sebastian nods. 

"So you see Sebastian there are so many questions surrounding you and it's making me quite curious, especially when Princess speaks so highly of your skills yet, you seem so reluctant to be here." He takes a third sip from his mug and stares at Sebastian expectantly. 

"Part of it is true.” Sebastian finally answers quietly 

"Oh? And pray tell Sebastian. which part?" Jeff asked taking his feet off the table and leaning in eagerly. 

"The charming peoples pants off part" . 

Jeff snorts loudly 

"I figured as much, I bet you have all the boys falling at your feet." 

"That’s kind of what got me here" Sebastian sighs

"Ahhh a lovers quarrel I see." 

"More like a one-sided lovers quarrel." 

"Oh?" Jeff quirked an eyebrow 

"Yeah, he happened to be the main guy to volunteer this year and I slept with his brother apparently, although I can't remember doing it."  

Jeff chuckles lightly, leaning across the table.  

"I knew there was something I liked about you."  

Jeff leans in from across the table, eyes flicking towards his lips, and Sebastian _knows_ that look _._

"Sebastian what are you doing!"

Both Jeff and him look up, trance broken, as Quin storms into the dining room. 

Sebastian shudders to think what this must look like to her.

"Well good morning to you to." Jeff muses sarcastically, moving back to an appropriate distance between him and Sebastian 

"Can I talk to him  _alone_ possibly?" Quin growls

Jeff smiles sweetly.

"Sure sweetheart, I'll get out of your hair." and then he leaves the room grinning from ear to ear. 

She practically stomps up to him in a way that under any other circumstances would be comical. 

"What are you playing at!" she barks at Sebastian 

"Why Quin I don't know what your talking about." Sebastian smiles mockingly, cocky facade creeping in.

"You little slut! You really think getting it on with our mentor is going to increase your chances of winning?" she screams

"I wasn't-" 

"Yes you were!" she screeches 

"No I-" 

"You know what? Fine. You’re going to die anyway so you might as well have some fun, right? But let me tell you something Sebastian Smythe when the time comes I there is nothing that will make me happier than ripping your throat out with my bare hands!" she yells before storming out of the dinning room dramatically, slamming the dining car door so hard that the room shakes.

Sebastian sits there awkwardly by himself for the second time as the sun begins rise.


	2. Chapter 2

Breakfast is another almost silent affair. Augustine once again prattles on about things in the Capital that nobody particularly cares about; Quin continues to shoot death glares across to Sebastian, and Jeff would occasionally catch his eye, shooting him a smile that makes his skin crawl. Sebastian sits and picks at his food quietly, nodding along with what Augustine is saying.  

Quin suddenly stands up, her eyes fixed on the windows.

“That’s it, we’re here,” she gasps as she rushes over to the windows to get a better view.

Sebastian stands up too, making his way over to her and staring at the view. The glimmering, silver and gold buildings stand high and prominent against the blue skyline, the whole city seemingly shinning in the sunlight. Both Quin and Sebastian stand there in awe, despite District 1 being a well off district it is nothing compared to the glamour and luxury of the Capital.

“Are you two done gawking?” Jeff asks making them suddenly snap out of there Capital induced trance.

Quin shoots Sebastian _another_ glare before joining Jeff and Augustine back at the dinning table, Sebastian following behind her.

“Alright so when you arrive there going to try to pretty you up before the opening ceremonies do yourself a favour and let them, don’t try and fight the glitter and sparkles, and yes that is mainly directed at you Sebastian because I think princess will actually enjoy the pampering” Jeff explains smugly, throwing a quick wink at Quin who scowls in response.

“And then what?” Sebastian asks 

“Just look beautiful darling,” Augustine pipes up, her accent emphasising the word ‘darling’ in a way that makes Sebastian want to empty his stomach of what little he has eaten.

“Smile. Lots. And if you can get a bit of chit chat going with some of the District 2 tributes that would be good,” Jeff adds   

The moment they step out of the train into the train station it is complete chaos. Capital citizens swarm towards them despite the peacekeepers, screaming their names. Sebastian tunes out the noise, instead focusing on the faces in the sea of colour. Everyone looks so strange, so foreign, they even _smell_ foreign. Sebastian finds himself mesmerized by the strange coloured lips and even stranger coloured hair, the over animated expressions as they talk to each other as the peacekeepers escort them to another building, Augustine and Jeff tagging along behind them. 

Jeff was right. It takes every in of self-control he had not to hit the majority of the stylists. They fuss around him, waxing his legs, plucking his eyebrows scrubbing even the possibility of dirt off every inch of his body. By the time the head stylist has walked in Sebastian feels red raw and is at the end of his patience.

The woman struts in, her bright orange curls bouncing around her as she walks.  

“Now I’m Harmonia, should I hear one negative word about what you are wear or find a single tear on my clothes and I will have no objections to castrating you, do you understand?” the woman snaps

Sebastian quickly nods 

“Fabulous.” she mused before motioning for one of the other stylist to bring forward the bag with his clothes.

To Sebastian’s disgust the women undress him, then slip him into golden pants, which seemed to weigh a tone, “Their real gold” she snaps when he made the slightest face, and a gold silk shirt, which weighed slightly less. Finally the whole outfit was topped off with a silvery vest with what looked like it had real diamonds sown into it.

“You look radiant,” coos one of the other stylists as she finishes his hair.

“I look gay,” mutteres Sebastian under his breath

“Aren’t you though?” asked Harmonia smoothing down any wrinkles on his top.

“How do you-”

“You’re the latest gossip here in the Capital honey,” she explains absent-mindedly as she stepped back to look over the outfit once more. 

“What do you mean-“

“He’s done.” Harmonia yells interrupting him again.

Before Sebastian can get another word out he is hustled into the chariot waiting area for the opening ceremonies, for the first time getting at glimpse at the other tributes he will be up against. A pale, blue-eyed boy catches his eye first simply by the fact that he looks so _odd_ compared to everyone else. The innocent looking boy is covered in a patchwork of different patterns, shapes, and colours so he assumes he must have been from District 8 judging from the textile inspired clothing. He looks so weak and childlike that Sebastian almost feels kind of sorry for him and hopes that when the boy goes it will be quickly and painlessly. The District 8 boy that he had now nick named Porcelain is deep in conversation another male tribute. The other boy is a lot shorter than Porcelain, with dark curly hair, which his stylists had obviously tried to tame with buckets of hair gel, and hazel eyes that seem far to friendly for any human being. His costume was is all black and covered in “soot” that is sore attempt of representing what must have been District 12. Sebastian dubs the boy Midget and judging from the puppy dog eyes he sends Porcelains way he doubts either of them would be much of a threat.

“Sebastian!”

Quin's inhuman bird like screech is enough to bring him out of his thoughts. 

Sebastian lets out an exasperated sigh and turns to face her, noticing she is dressed in a gown that mimics his outfit perfectly.

“What?” he groans, hoping she will just  _shut up_.

“You were in your own little dream world, pay attention,” she snaPS

“I was just checking out the competition-”

“Oh I bet you were.” Quin deadpans

“It wasn’t like that,” Sebastian grumbled, not bothering to fight her as he follows her to their chariot.

As the music starts they both climb into the horse drawn chariot, painting smiles on their faces as the wooden doors open.

“Smile and wave” Quin growls at Sebastian as the chariot started to move.

He just rolls his eyes at her. 

The crowd roars as they made their way through the Capital streets. Quin waves regally, smiling sweetly at the crowd as she passes them and Sebastian forces a grin although it must have looked more like a grimace to Quin who pinches his arm after a few minutes forcing Sebastian to try to make it look more genuine, he settles for something flirt and and a little bit cheeky. The chariots come to a halt in front of the training centre, President Snow in all his glory standing on a balcony ready to give his speech.

“Welcome tributes-“

Sebastian blocks out the speech, instead using the time to survey more of the tributes. His eyes scan over the chariots and stop at what are obviously District 2’s tributes. The two tributes are dressed all in white, gold crowns of leaves adorning their heads and their expressions proud but robotic. The female tribute, with olive skin and dark long hair that reaches her hips, is the undivided attention of several of the other male tributes. But the real jewel out of the two is her counterpart, he's tall and not quite as tan as her but close, short cropped brown hair and muscular in build. He is attractive. Very attractive. With dark eyes that are looking straight in Sebastian’s direction-

_Oh crap._

The boy quirks an eyebrow as he meets Sebastian’s gaze, whispering something to the olive skinned girl. Sebastian averts his eyes, President Snow’s speech suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the world.

Once inside the training centre, Augustine and Jeff escort Quin and Sebastian from the chariots to the elevator, Augustine pressing the button for District 1’s floor. The doors open to a floor even more luxurious than the train, which Sebastian hadn’t even thought possible, glass chandeliers, velvet sofas and tables upon tables of rich capital food. Within a few minutes Quin trots off to find her room without a single word anyone, Sebastian assumes this has something to with his stunt during the opening ceremony, and Augustine excuses her to do some “Capital Business”, strutting off to a completely different room leaving Sebastian and Jeff once again alone sitting on one of the velvet seats.

They both sat in a comfortable silence for a while before Jeff speaks.

“So care to explain why princess is sending me and you death stares every five minutes?” Jeff asks coolly

Sebastian remains silent.

“Because it’s going to be awfully hard to keep you both alive if she-”

“She thinks I’m trying to sleep with you.” 

Jeff raises an eyebrow in confusion “And are you?”

“No! I’m not! Why does everyone think that?” Sebastian yells in frustration.

Jeff jumps back in surprise.

“Look” Jeff finally sighs, “Has it ever occurred to you that it might be a good thing to play up? This is TV Sebastian, they want to be entertained, give them what they want and they will keep you alive. Charming player? I can sell that.”

 Sebastian gives an exasperated sigh.

“She doesn’t matter anyway, at some point you’ll have to kill her so just ignore her for now.” Jeff reassures him.

He hates how casual that is. As if killing somebody is that easy. 

“Yeah," he says "Yeah, you’re probably right”

And Sebastian knows he's right. From the very moment he was reaped that had been the image the Capital had wanted to see, a promiscuous bad boy from District 1 and if he wants to go home he has to give it to them. As infuriating as it was they aren’t far from truth, he wouldn’t really have to act it, it would actually be him. Wether it had been Silia and the rest of District 1’s teenage boy’s intention for sending him into the games to humiliate him in front of all of Panem, or lead him to slaughter, it was going to work.

They would win either way and either way Sebastian would lose.

Which makes Sebastian feel so sick that few minutes later he's emptying the contents of his stomach into the porcelain toilet bowel.

By the time he's having an awkward dinner, which Jeff is suspiciously absent from, and is filled once again with Augustine’s pointless chatter Sebastian was just about at the end of his tether.

“So then I said to her-“ 

“No one cares.” Sebastian snaps.

Augustine and Quin turna to him in horror.

“Excuse me?” Augustine gasped

“Didn’t you hear me over the sound of your own voice? Nobody freaking cares about majority of the things you have to say.” he snarls

“How dare you! You can’t talk to people like that!” Quin protests

“Well guess what? I just did” Sebastian jeers “Stop acting like a fucking princess and admit you don’t even listen to any of her noise.”

“ I-“ Quin seems taken aback by his demand, clearly struggling to find her words.

“Well what do you know? The ice queen does have a heart,” Sebastian says sarcastically 

That is when Jeff burst into the room, very unamused.

“What’s with all the yelling?” Jeff snaps, glaring at everyone.

“Sebastian is a little bit upset because he feels I talk to much.” Augustine tries to explain

“More than a little bit.” Quin mumbles in response

“Sebastian apologize.” Jeff demands

“What! No fucking way-“ Sebastian starts

“Apologize,” Jeff, repeats more menacingly

“Fine, I’m sorry.” Sebastian mutters and storms out of the room leaving a very confused Augustine and Quin and a very frustrated Jeff in his wake.

Sebastian once again sleeps restlessly that night. His mind wandering, his dreams filled with the sensation of drowning, bright lights and people screaming at him and by the time he goes to breakfast the next morning he is a walking, sleep deprived zombie.

“Morning!” squeals Augustine as he trudges to the glass dinning table, her high voice particularly ear splitting. 

Sebastian mumbles something along the lines of a greeting.  

“Well you look awful,” Quin says casually as she takes a dainty bite from her toast.  

“Well aren’t you lovely.” Sebastian mutters half-heartedly.

“Both of you save it for the games” Jeff butts in

Quin and Sebastian both nod in agreement.

“So today's your first day of training, use the weapons your particularly good at and show off at bit to scare some of the other tributes and impress the more.. capable ones” Jeff starts to explain “Make an alliance with District 2 as they're also more capable the other districts, however if there are any jewels snatch' em up."

“And what does Sebastian do?” asks Quin looking at Sebastian smugly.

Jeff sighs, turning his attention to Sebastian.

“He does the same thing your doing but if he can flirt with some of the other tributes that would be beneficial for you guys, at least it might make them more reluctant to kill you during the games if they have a crush on you.” 

“So be himself basically?” Quin grins sickly  

“Yeah just be himself.”


	3. Chapter 3

The training area is intimidating, the walls of weapons and training stations seeming to glare at Sebastian as him and Quin entered, being a sick reminder of what was is to come and how he isn’t even remotely capable with any of them. A dark skin woman with bright purple hair explains the rules of their three days of training, emphasising on the rule of not fighting with other tributes. He pretends not to notice the disappointment on Quins face when the woman explains that. She then lets them disperse into the area to do whatever they want within her rules. Quin instantly sprints to the archery station, proudly showing off the distance she can hit the target from and sneering at some of the other more terrified tributes from the outer districts.  Sebastian rolls his eyes at her display of arrogance, walking towards the spear throwing in the hope that he could maybe remember something from District 1’s “illegal” training. He turns towards the station and-

_Oh. Someone is already at the station._

The same District 2 boy Sebastian had noticed during the tribute parade is once again the center of Sebastian’s attention as he confidently throws spears at several different targets. Smiling triumphantly when each target is hit perfectly square in the middle, however he didn’t seem to be putting on much of a show for the other tributes and looks more like he is just refreshing his skills. Sebastian is rooted to the spot practically mesmerized by the way the muscles in the other boy's arms ripple as he throws the spear, the way his eyes crinkle with every satisfied smile and the way his dark eyes narrow every time he is aiming for a particularly difficult target. 

“Gorgeous isn’t he?” an unfamiliar voice purrs behind him, making him jump. 

Sebastian’s spins around, coming face to face with the dark haired District 2 girl smirking at him.

“Yeah, he's alright.” Sebastian replies with a healthy dose of fake nonchalant. 

“You know he doesn’t have a girl back home?”

“Really?” Sebastian asks, trying desperately to ignore the pit of warmth at the bottom of his stomach that comes with her comment

“Yeah weird huh? I asked about it on the train, he said he didn’t have any interest in them which I think is code for swinging the other way, lucky for you huh lover boy.” she says grinning and throwing him a wink.

Sebastian quirks an eyebrow, “How did you-“

“Santana Lopez, District 2” she interrupts putting her hand out for him to shake.

“Sebastian Smythe, District 1” Sebastian replies, confidently shaking her hand.

 _Finally_ , someone he might actually get along with.

“You know I reckon he’d teach you,” Santana begins casually leaning against Sebastian’s shoulder. 

“Oh?”

“Oi Hunt!” calls Santana making the District 2 boy freeze mid-throw

The other boy begins to approach them, shooting Santana and Sebastian curious looks.

“Hunter Clarington meet Sebastian Smythe from District 1” she says with a cat like grin.

“Well hello there,” Sebastian purrs giving Hunter his best flirty smile

“Hi” says Hunter giving him an unamused look that takes Sebastian completely off guard. 

_Now why didn't that work?_

Santana looks on the verge of laughter at the awkward exchange.

“And you wonder why people know what team you play for.” she snorts earning a glare from Hunter.

“So is there a reason you called me over here Santan?” Hunter snaps at her.

“Well completely discreet gay over here needs to learn how to throw spear and you seem to be the master of the spears oh great one so could you kindly give him some tips and in return he might give your uptight ass some well needed action.”

Sebastian grins and Hunter's jaw drops before he composes himself, turning to Sebastian.

"Really Santana? Isn't he worried about messing up his hair or breaking nail?" Hunter smirks, and  _oh this guy is an asshole._

"When you look this good you don't need to worry Clarington," Sebastian retorts back, "Don't have to go oil up your biceps or, I don't know, file down your abnormally large nose?" 

Hunters mouth twitches and Sebastian can tell he's hit a nerve. 

“Fine," he finally snaps at Santana after a long pause,he then turns back to Sebastian with a glare, "But I swear if you so much as touch my ass I will-”

“Yeah no ass touching, got it” Sebastian mutters smugly as he follows Hunter to the station.

Hunter begins to explain the different types of spears, Sebastian paying as much attention as he can and trying hard not to get distracted gawking at Hunter. He knows that this is a dangerous line to walk, that if he even remotely began to develop anything for Hunter that it could cost him his life, and so he reminds himself that barely knows this guy and he's just as stuck up as Quin is. Of course this all goes to ruins the moment Hunter goes to adjust Sebastian’s grip on the spear, putting one hand on Sebastian’s waist and the other guiding Sebastian’s fingers into a better grip. It takes all forms of self-control Sebastian had and the image of kissing Quin to stop himself from tackling Hunter to the ground and kissing him senseless.

_“Which I think is code for swinging the other way”_

The words play through Sebastian’s head during Hunter's lesson, making his stomach do strange and stupid things every time Hunter brushes against him.

_Stop Sebastian this is dumb. You don’t do feelings. Snap out of it._

In a panic, Sebastian insists his skills were competent enough and tries to excuse himself to another station much to the slight confusion of Hunter who lets him go easily but clearly didn’t think Sebastian is skilled at all. Sebastian wanders over to the survival stations, teaching himself how to make a fire before going to the edible plants station, staying until he is well versed on what is found where and which of them would kill you. When everyone os called to lunch Sebastian had just finished learning how to tie several different knots and make a snare. As he walks towards the lunch hall Quin joins his side, trying to make them look like a team and glaring at the other tributes while Sebastian tries his best to ignore her.

“Alright if they don’t invite us over in 20 minutes then we go over to them,” Quin whispers as they made there way through the doors of the lunch hall.

Sebastian surveys the groups of tributes at the tables. Most of the tributes seem to be paired up with the other tribute from their district and sitting separate tables. He notices Porcelain and Midget were sitting together at a table in the back corner completely engrossed in each other. and a few tables from them Santana and Hunter in conversation with a blonde girl who Sebastian hasn’t seen before.

“Hey Basi and Blondie! Get your buts over here!” Santana suddenly called to both Sebastian and Quin waving her arm around in the air.

Quin gives Sebastian a confused look before following him to their table.

“Quin this is Santana and Hunter and I don’t know who the other girl is-“

“Brittany from District 4” Santana suddenly interrupts

“Are you a dolphin?” Brittany asks, her voice airy, almost as if she was floating on some sort of cloud. 

“What?” blurts out Sebastian. 

Santana and Hunter grimace at each other

“Because Santana and Hunter are both dolphins and Hunter said-“

“That’s enough Britt” Santana says quickly. 

“What the heck is a dolphin?” Quin asks sitting herself down opposite Santana.

“Dolphin’s like lady kisses like Santana and I do and Hunter likes-“

“That’s enough Brittany!” Hunter suddenly bursts out, his face red with anger and a hint or embarrassment.

Quin’s eyes widen and Sebastian smirks in amusement.

“Well, well I must say this is an interesting crew we have here” Sebastian says grinning.

Everyone but Brittany glares at him. 

The rest of the training session Sebastian spends at the athletics station and hand to hand combat station trying to at least be fit enough to outrun the other tributes. Surprisingly Sebastian finds he is quite fast on his feet and fairly agile and makes a mental note to use that station more often.

* * *

 

Quin and Sebastian both arrive back on District 1’s floor late to be greeted by Augustine and Jeff’s mid screaming match.

“You’re a mentor Jeffrey! You’re a mentor and he’s a tribute!”

_Oh fuck._

“You don’t think I don’t know that? You don’t think I’ve _tried_ to ignore this!”

“Well you haven’t tried hard enough!”

“It’s not like I’m going to act on it!”

“You seemed pretty damn close to me!”

“I was doing what I had to do to control it.”

“Control it? By-" Augustine stops mid sentence as both her and Jeff realise they have an audienc,

“Quin, Sebastian how was training?” Augustine asks sweetly

Jeff shoots Sebastian an odd look before storming away.

“What was that about?” Sebastian says disregarding her question

Augustine bites her lip nervously, fiddling with her aqua hair.

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Seems like it is something he needs to worry about.” Quin butts in as she moves past them.

“It’s nothing Jeff is just being a bit… difficult.” Augustine insists

“Whatever not my problem” Quin says nonchalantly and once again walks off to the confines of her room.

“Charming” Sebastian mumbles making his was to his own room.

As he lies on the cold bed staring at the ceiling his mind reels back to Jeff and Augustine’s quarrel. It is stupid really but he can’t shake the unnerving feel that there is something wrong about it.

_"He’s a tribute"_

Who was a tribute? And more importantly what about this tribute had made Augustine so upset?

_"It’s not like I’m going to act on it"_

_"You seemed pretty damn close to me!"_

The more he played the fight over and over in his head the more the confused he got. Act on what? What had Jeff done? 

“Dinners on the table if you want any,”

Quin's voice breaks Sebastian’s concentration, her tone slightly less irritated than before.

“Yep I’ll be out in a second”

Peeling himself from the bed Sebastian once again makes his way to the dining room noticing that once again Jeff is absent from dinner. 


	4. Chapter 4

The nightmares that night cease, letting Sebastian get a decent 8 hours sleep and be awake enough to notice that Augustine and Jeff are acting even more awkward than usual at breakfast. Augustine sends Quin like death stares to Jeff who seems to be quietly ignoring them and occasionally he swears he catches Jeff intently staring at him but it is hard to tell because by the time Sebastian’s brain has registered what is happening Jeff has already averted his eyes. Quin who has been oddly calm since training the day before decides to break the weird quiet.

“So what’s the plan for today?” she asks chirpily, almost  _too_ chirpily

“Do shit and don’t die.” Jeff mumbles making Quin scowl

“But surely you have something else for today?” Quin persisted

“For once I don’t, so if you could possibly shut up that would be lovely,” Jeff snaps

Nobody speaks after that.

Sebastian looks forward to training that day more than he really should. He tries to convince himself that it is just the adrenaline of only have two days left until the games but when he walks into the training centre and his stomach did that small flipy thing at the sight of Hunter the rational part of him knows that's not the case. 

“Hey there lover boy.” Santana’s teases bringing Sebastian out of his Hunter induced daydreaming

Sebastian does his best sarcastic eye roll, turning to face her.

“I’m no lover boy unless it’s in bed sweetheart.” Sebastian quips making Santana laugh.

“Whatever you say,” she says winking at him and strutting of to join Brittany who is fumbling about at the knife throwing station.

Mustering up his courage Sebastian begins to make his way to make his way towards Hunter, his palms beginning to sweat. Hunter doesn’t notice him at first, to preoccupied trying to throw a spear at a target several feet away.

“Hey there killer.” Sebastian purrs behind Hunter getting his attention.

Hunter puts down the spear, slowly turning around and glaring at him.

“Hi.” Hunter deadpans crossing his arms.

 _Weird._  

Sebastian ignores the pang of hurt he feels.

“So I was hoping you would be kind enough to help me again today.” Sebastian asks smiling smoothly 

Hunter lets out and irritated sigh.

“Fine, whatever.” he grumbles picking up the spear again, turning around and throwing it full force at the target and hitting it perfectly in the centre much to Sebastian’s awe.

_Well somebody is in a bad mood._

Sebastian begins to fumble around with one of the spears, dropping it several times before Hunter decides to put him out of his misery.

“You’d think you’d never touch one of these things before, too busy staring at your reflection to pay attention?” Hunter jeers with an acidic smirk as he helps Sebastian pick the weapon up.

“Maybe that’s because I haven’t.” Sebastian shoots back, snatching the spear off him.

Hunter quirks an eyebrow in confusion.

“I don’t follow, you’re from 1 aren’t you?”

“Yeah and surprise surprise I’m useless, not even meant to freaking be here,” Sebastian snaps 

“Oh can't you see how shocked I am,” drawls Hunter sarcastically, positioning Sebastian’s arm with the spear.

Sebastian makes an attempt at throwing it and of course misses the target completely.

“Shit what is wrong with this thing” Sebastian huffs in frustration.

“You keep throwing it wrong the wrong way,” Hunter points out passing him another spear, “Pull your arm back a bit more.” he corrects, lightly pushing Sebastian’s arm.

Sebastian takes another throw, this time the spear landing on one of the outer rings.

“Better.” Hunter acknowledges.

“So now that you know I suck aren’t you going to kick me out of the careers or something?” 

Hunter chuckles to himself as he gabs another spear and hands it to Sebastian. 

“Believe me I’ve tried, but Santana like you to much."

His words cut Sebastian like a knife. Of course Hunter doesn’t care what happens to him, he has no reason to. But the realisation still hurts for some irrational and unknown reason. In frustration Sebastian chucks another spear full force, hitting the target square in the centre.

Hunter’s jaw drops.

“If I was you I’d listen to her more often.” Sebastian smirks stalking off.

 _Screw him._ Sebastian decides.

At lunch Sebastian makes an effort to talk to Santana more while ignoring both Hunter and Quin. Brittany once again tries to bring up dolphins and Hunter once again screams at her to be quiet leading Santana to quite eloquently telling Hunter to piss off and by the time lunch had finished Hunter is on the other side of the room eating alone and shooting Sebastian death glares. Things don’t get much easier after training when he arrives back to District 1’s floor either, the growing tension between Jeff and everyone making things more awkward than Sebastian can stand. 

“So Jeff,” Sebastian finally asks at dinner that night, being just about fed up with the secrets and odd glances, “Would you care to explain to both Quin and I what the fuck has been going on with you?” 

Quin shoots Sebastian a confused look and Augustine gasps at his curse, turning to Jeff who has drained of colour.

“I don’t know what your talking about Sebastian” Jeff chokes out, his eyes fixed on the table

“Well let me be clearer then, your'e being a useless mentor and I don’t want to die so tell me what the hell is going on.” Sebastian tests

“There’s nothing _going on_ Sebastian” Jeff snaps at him. 

“Then why can’t you look him in the eye” Quin suddenly says “I may hate his guts but Sebastian has a point, I don’t want to die.”

Sebastian is taken aback. _Quin_. Quin Fabray is not only helping him but also admitting that there is a chance she could _die_ and that it, on some level, frightens her.

“Jeffrey perhaps they should know-“ Augustine starts

“No!” Jeff roars making Sebastian jump “No, No, No, No!”

Jeff stands up abruptly, knocking a glass off the table and storming off swearing loudly.

Augustine lets out a soft sigh “I guess he really couldn’t control it,” 

“Control what?” Sebastian asks irritably

“Nothing Sebastian” mutters and continued to pick at her food.

The nightmares return that night, far more graphic than usual. Hunter staring in majority of them, his eyes blood red and his mouth twisted and distorted in a smile as he towers over him. Sebastian would beg for mercy, beg for him not to kill him but every situation ended the same way; Sebastian being brutally and unforgivingly murdered at Hunter's hand.

“Sebastian” a female voice begins to call his name

“Sebastian” the voice says again louder  

“Sebastian!” the voice screams making him shoot up in his bed and out of his nightmare.

Quin stands over him very unimpressed.

“Wha- what?” Sebastian murmurs, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

“It’s 10:30 you missed breakfast,” she snaps at him. 

“Did Jeff turn up?” Sebastian asks suddenly more awake

“What do you think?” Quin sighs sadly “Looks like we’re on our own for private training session today”

_Oh shit that's today?_

“Get up, we’re due down there in an hour.” Quin demandS and stalks out of his room.    

Sebastian takes his time as he gets ready, having a 40-minute hot shower before pulling on his training uniform. Heading out of the room and into the dinning room picking up a slice of toast off the on his way out the door. 

The short wait to go into the private training session feels like hours. Quin is called up first, strutting past him and into the room without a backwards glance. Sebastian sits nervously fiddling with his pants, occasionally stealing glance at Hunter, who sits emotionless on the other side of the room.

“Sebastian Smythe.”

His stomach drops as he slowly stands up making his way towards the door and into his private training session. He begins to sweat and breath heavily as he spots the game makers, most of whom were staring at him intently as he enters the training room. Sebastian walks over to the wall of spears, wracking his brain to remember the tips Hunter had given but it only being able to come up with a blank haze of the memory of Hunters touch. He curses himself under his breath for yet again being so _stupid_  as he positions himself in front of the first target. Sebastian takes a deep breath bringing his arm back and the throwing it in the direction of the target, hitting it in the middle.

_Fuck yeah._

Sebastian could have celebrated there and then but instead he grabs another spear and moves onto the next target. Six targets later Sebastian is full of adrenaline as the game makers dismiss him as he walks back through the waiting room he wishes Santana good luck and gives Hunter a smug condescending look before going back to his room, a smile lighting his face. 

* * *

 

Sebastian, Quin, Augustine and Jeff sit anxiously in front of the television screen as the scores came in.

Quin Fabray, District 1, 10, flashes across the screen and Sebastian hears Quin sigh in relief, his eyes till glued to the screen.

Sebastian Smythe, District 2,

5.

And Sebastian’s blood went cold. He felt sick to his stomach. A five. He was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to die. Hunter was going to kill him and he would die.

Augustine turns to him in horror, Quin looks at him with pity and Jeff looks just as shocked as Augustine.

And Sebastian panics. Really, really panics.

He stands up and _runs_. Out of district one’s floor and into the elevator pressing the button that sent it shooting up to the roof of the centre. The doors open and he continues running out into the cool night air, through the gardens stopping at the edge of the building, a fifty feet drop.

And then an idea forms in Sebastian’s brain.

He begins to cry, loud sobs not even caring if anyone hears him. He collapses into a ball, holding himself. The 5 keeps flashing in his head over and over again. He thinks about his dad and how it will have broken his heart when he saw that, how he will now know that Sebastian has no chance. No hope. Dead. He swears out loud, screaming profanities at the capital from the roof because he is done. If he is going to die it was going to be at his own hand, he wasn’t going to give the Capital or Hunter or any of the other tributes that satisfaction and so he stands, whipping away his remaining tears and moves closer to the edge of the building and then closer again and-

“Don’t even bother, there’s a force field you’ll just go flying backwards. ”

Sebastian shoots his head around to see Jeff standing behind him in the dark, his expression unreadable.

“Believe me I tried the night before my games, all it will do is give you a bit of a shock” he continues moving closer.

Sebastian swears, moving away from the ledge and collapsing once again in a heap on the ground.

“I don’t wanna die.” Sebastian croaks.  

Jeff sighed, joining Sebastian on the ground.

“You’re not going to die Sebastian.” Jeff assures him

“Yes I am.” Sebastian insists

“Believe me your not.” 

“How do you know that?” Sebastian sniffles

“Because I talked to District 2’s mentor Nick and he’s going to make sure Hunter and Santana look out for you,” Jeff explains

“Why would you do that?”

Jeff looked into Sebastian’s eyes and Sebastian begins to feel guilty. So very, very guilty because the look resembled the look his father had given his mother when he was alive. It suddenly clicks. The glances across the table, the flirting on the train, the fight with Augustine and Jeff’s sudden distance. Everything made sense.

_“He’s a tribute”_

_“I’ve tried to ignore this”_

Jeff is in love with him.

It was as if Jeff had read Sebastian’s mind and heard Sebastian’s realisation because he surged forward. And kissed him.

Nothing had ever felt so wrong in Sebastian’s life.

Taken by surprise at first Sebastian froze, Jeff grabbing him by the hips and pulling Sebastian towards him. As soon as Sebastian realises what is happening he tries to push Jeff off him but Jeff is stronger, pinning Sebastian by his wrists and kissing him deeper. And he feels sick, so sick to his stomach. He feels Jeff try to remove his shirt and the feeling intensified, he tries to kick and scream but the sound is blocked by another kiss and Jeff’s weight pinned him down. The world just blurry, becoming more painful with every rough movement. In once last attempt Sebastian throws his fist, smashing into Jeff’s skull with a thump. He is disorientated enough by the blow for Sebastian to push Jeff off himself and back away, breathing heavily and fighting the urge to throw up.

Jeff looks at him with hurt in his eyes “Sebastian I-“

“Stay the fuck away from me” Sebastian growls

And suddenly dying doesn’t sound so bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I have tumblr if anyone of you want to follow me, heres the link :)  
> http://gongiwoo.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, I had a bit of writers block. Enjoy! :)

Sebastian sits in the bedroom once again staring at a tiny black speck the wall, willing away the disgusting, dirty feeling at the bottom of his stomach. God how could he have been so _stupid_?  He should have known, he should have seen it coming, how could he have not noticed someone lusting over _him_.

“Can I come in?”

Quin stands awkwardly in the doorway, fiddling with the hem of her nightgown.

“Sure why not,” Sebastian sighs, whipping his eyes for the final time and patting the spot on the bed next to him “Sit.”

Quin slowly walks into the room to join him, her eyes still cast to the ground. She sits a fair distance away from him on the other end of the bed, still not making eye contact.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she finally says quietly,

“Me neither” replies Sebastian dryly, turning his attention back to the spot on the wall.

They sit in silence, neither one of them making even the slightest eye contact.

“I don’t hate you, you know,” says Quin suddenly taking Sebastian by surprise “If anything I envy you.”

Sebastian remain silently staring at the wall.

“You know why you’re going to die Sebastian?” she asks

“Please enlighten me Quin,” say Sebastian, but there's no edge to it, he just sounds tired. 

“Because unlike me you’re a kind person.” 

 _Well that was unexpected_.

“It’s not that you can’t,  it’s that when the time comes, when the alliances are over and they’ve got a knife at your throat you won’t do it.” she explains “You won’t kill them because your not a killer and I admire you for that.”

“You admire _me?”_ Sebastian snorts, trying to hide how her words had affected him.

“Believe it or not I actually had the biggest crush on you for two years.”

Sebastian barks out a loud laugh, for the first time in what seems like a lifetime,  making Quin glare at him clearly unimpressed with his insensitivity.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he gasps between giggles “But you _liked_ me? I’m like the gayest person _ever_ how could you even miss something like that?”

Quin gives him a half smile “What can I say? I want what I can’t have, but at least that seemed to cheer you up.” 

And Sebastian realises she was right, he had almost completely forgotten his score and Jeff just by talking about something so normal and as light-hearted as crushes. Quin reaches into the pocket of her nightgown pulling out a lilac coloured heart pedant necklace and placing it on the bed between them.

“You know what this is?” she asked

Sebastian examines it closely and memories of his mother making similar sorts of necklaces flood back to him. He smells the pedant, picking up traces of lavender.

“It’s solid perfume necklace,” Sebastian answers.

“Your mother was a perfumer wasn’t she?”

Sebastian nodded. 

“I stole it out of Augustine’s room, we’re allowed to take a district token into the arena and I thought you might want it.” Quin explains “To remind you of home and drown out the smell of blood.”

Sebastian takes the necklace, clipping it around his neck. His heart is heavy, the gesture is means more to him than she will ever know. 

It's a truce, he decides. 

“Thank you Quin” Sebastian finally says softly

“Please don’t mention it, I have a rep to keep up you know” she says smirking

Quin goes back to her room shortly after that, leaving Sebastian once again alone. He decides after laying there for about an hour that he might as well get some sleep, figuring that wether tomorrow is his last or not there was no point sitting around moping because it wasn’t going to change a damn thing.  

He fell into a dreamless sleep, the smell of lavender filling his senses.

 

* * *

 

The last morning before the games is a blur; Sebastian vaguely remembers Jeff being absent again and being transported to a different building. The adrenaline begins to kick in as he sat in the blank, steel room waiting, his mind racing at a hundred miles per hour and his heart beating almost as fast. Sebastian is startled when the heavy metal doors opened and Harmonia struts into the room, her now lime green curls bouncy behind her.

“I just came in to wish you luck and pass on this message from Jeffrey.” she says handing Sebastian a folded piece of blue paper “Take it.”

And then Harmonia is gone, leaving Sebastian with the piece of paper.

Sebastian almost considers ripping the note up, his stomach churning at the memory of the night before. But considering the circumstances he decides against it, figuring that he might as well give the bastard one last chance to explain himself. At least a letter wouldn’t force itself on him.

_Dear Sebastian_

_I owe you an explanation, which I fully intend to give you right now, but first may I just say that last night was **completely** out of line on my part and I am so truly and completely sorry I swear I would never ever want to hurt you in my normal, sane mindset. However last night after seeing that score I clearly wasn’t and that is my fault not yours and you should not have had to suffer for it. _

_But now for the explanation, which can be basically summed up in three words: I love you. I get it, I know it’s completely inappropriate and unrequited in every possible way but it’s true. I can’t help it nor stop it (believe me I’ve tried) and I am fully aware that it shouldn’t have happened. I’m your mentor, you trusted me with your life and I’ve let both you and Quin down in so many ways and for that I will never ever forgive myself. But I swear during every second of the games I will make it up to you and do everything I possibly can to bring you home safely even if my intentions are totally selfish in doing so._

_Yours truly, Jeffrey Sterling_

Sebastian could have actually thrown up at the declaration of love, instead crushing the paper into a ball and throwing it at the wall in anger. Sorry isn’t going to cut it, not in Sebastian’s mind. Jeff had failed to protect the lives of two innocent people because he couldn’t control his feelings and Sebastian could never forgive that, for not just himself but for Quin too. Despite her being a total bitch and reaffirming the fact that he is  _definitely_  gay, she doesn't  deserve to die and she doesn’t deserve to have it any harder during the games just because her mentor is infatuated with Sebastian.    

A loud, booming voice over asks him to step onto the platform inside a plastic tube. Sebastian’s heart begins to pick up even more if that was possible, he steps inside, the adrenaline coursing through his veins as his mind goes blank. If he tried, which he wouldn’t, he probably couldn't have been able to remembered a single name of anybody he knew. Sebastian begins to violently shake as the platform slowly begins to rise. It gets colder as he gets closer to the surface, his shaking turning into violent shivering, as his light jacket he had been issued with isn’t nearly enough to block out the cold. His senses are flooded with natural light and frozen air as he rises into the arena, getting his first look at where he is possibly to spend the rest of his life in.

And everything is frozen.

Majority of the arena is an icy wasteland, the only life being a small strip of forest a few miles out completely covered in snow. Sebastian sets his eyes on the cornucopia which of course was made entirely of ice, inside are weapons and coloured bags which he suspects have supplies and possibly something to keep him warm. He examines the other tributes, his eyes falling on Hunter who meet his eyes with a look although serious, warm. It is as if he is silently saying “I’m on your side”. Santana and Quin shoot him similar looks before refocusing their attention to their respective weapons. The countdown starts from twenty.

19

18

Sebastian and Hunter make eye contact again, Hunter mouthing “Be careful” and Sebastian’s stomach doing "the thing" even though he knows that Jeff put Hunter up to it.

17

16

15

Sebastian focuses his attention on the three spears near the back of the cornucopia.

14 

13

His eyes flicker to porcelain and midget who are giving each other similar looks of warmth although slightly more intense. Sebastian makes note of the alliance, figuring that it could be of some use later.

12

11

Sebastian suddenly realises how much space stood between him and the supplies and weapons, hoping that his sprinting is fast enough to out run the other tributes.

10

9

8

7

6

He begins to panic again, his chest constricting as his smashes against his rib cage.

5

4

This is it.

3

2

He can do this, prove the game makers wrong.

_1_

It takes him a few milliseconds to register the number and then he is off. Running towards the cornucopia, sprinting so fast that his lungs burn and there's a metallic taste in his mouth. He feels something wiz just past his head, whipping his head behind him to see a dark haired girl drop to the ground, a knife lodged firmly in her skull. He feels his stomach churn at the gore but keeps running until he is inside the icy sculpture, grabbing a pack and swinging it blindly onto his shoulder before snatching up a spear and turning around to face the chaos. There are already a few bodies, none of which are identifiable from a distance. He spots Santana retrieve her knife from the dark haired girls head and suddenly scream something at him, inaudible from the distance.

SMASH

A blonde haired boy attacked him from the side, causing him to hit the snow with a thud. In instinct he his hand latches onto the spear and with one fluid moment he slices the boy across the stomach, crimson blood splattering onto Sebastian’s face. The boy yelps with pain before stumbling backwards into the snow. Sebastian watched from the ground as Hunter came up behind the blonde boy, the two remaining to spears in hand and a pack on his back, and stabbed the bleeding boy straight through the chest, ending the suffering.

“Nice job, might want to finish it off next time though” says Hunter smugly, offering his hand to Sebastian still on the cold ground.

Sebastian doesn’t take it, pushing himself up with his spear in hand and bag still slung over his shoulder.

Then he noticed a girl wielding an axe coming straight at Hunters back.

As a split second reaction he chucks the spear in his hand with so much force that when it hits the girl it goes right through her stomach and spine leaving her impaled to the ground. Hunter whips his head around and his jaw drops, as do some of the other remaining tributes, some of which stop there fighting to simply gawk at the body of the girl still screaming in pain.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Hunter gawks 

Sebastian feels nauseous as he watches the girl flail around, her torso pinned to the ground by the spear.

“I have no idea,” breathes Sebastian, his eyes glued to the scene.

The remaining tributes bolt into the trees as the careers huddle around the dying girl.

“Come on we should get going, see how many we can track down before nightfall.” said Hunter regaining his level-headed demeanour.

Quin, and Hunter begin to trudge though the snow, several packs on their backs as Santana tags slightly behind.

“Hey, where’s Brittany?” asks Sebastian

 Santana just simply looks at him silently; her eyes rimmed with red, and sadly shakes her head. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE GUYS I'M BACK 
> 
> Seriously it has been many many years since I updated this, I've done life, and now I've come back and I've decided I love this fic so much that I WANT to finish it. 
> 
> So look forward to that and enjoy this long awaited chapter.

They end up running into two other tributes, both of which are dealt with by Quin. It's weird; Sebastian had been so sure Hunter would be far more _ruthless_ in the arena but besides saving his ass Sebastian can’t remember seeing him actually kill anybody. After a few hours it begins to get darker, and as the sun drop below the horizon so does they temperature. But still they trudge on through the thick snow of the pine forest, Sebastian resisting the urge to complain about the cold but remembering vividly how Quin had so easily put an arrow through that district 3 girl's skull, and realizing that it could easily become him if he became a nuisance, so he remains silent. Santana is silent too, her eyes fixed on some point in the grey sky, staring at it as if her life depends on it. Sebastian knows she’s mourning the loss of Brittany. He doesn’t blame her though; he knows  _exactly_ how she feels.

“We’ll set up camp here.”

They stop at the base of a large tree, the leaves partially acting as a shelter from the light snowfall. Hunter takes everyone's packs and puts them in a pile, silently beginning to take stock and Sebastian takes that as his que to start a fire, rubbing some damp flint against the tinder in the hope of starting a flame. It take a while but eventually a flame begins to flicker and soon they have a tiny, but warm fire. Quin snatches the flint out of Sebastian's hand and sit's cross legged next to him, beginning to sharpen one of Santana's knives. They share a knowing look, and Sebastian knows that Quin's noticed too. Sebastian can see Santana lurking just outside the glow of the fire, her eyes distant, she mumbles something about "first watch" as he catches her eye, then goes back to her quiet.

They don't get much out of her for the rest of the night.

Hunter joins them at the fire after a while,  handing them each a bag of some sort of dried food. Sebastian doesn't know what it is and doesn't really care, he's too hungry to care, shoveling it down messily, barely even registering the taste. They eat in silence, the only sound being the crackle of the fire and the hiss of the icy wind. The silence scares Sebastian more than anything else, there's not even a cricket chirping, in fact Sebastian hasn't seen anything living other than them and trees since the cornucopia. 

Which begs the horrible of question of  _why_ there is nothing else. 

The Panem anthem finally breaks the quiet, making everyone, including Sebastian, jump and instinctively reach for their respective weapons. The sky flashes with the faces of the fallen tributes, the girl from 3, then the boy from 4 that he had sliced through the stomach. 

Santana lets out the noise of a strangled cat and Sebastian looks away from the sky, he doesn't need to see her. 

It skips straight to 6, both tributes, one of which Santana had killed in the bloodbath, a boy from 7,and then suddenly Sebastian is looking at the face of the girl who he impaled. He fights the urge to puke, remembering the bloodstained snow, the  _smell_ , her screaming as she flailed in pain. He can feel a dry scream building up in his chest, threatening to bubble up and choke him and he bites on his lip hard enough to draw blood.  _  
_

_You're a murderer._

There are a few more tributes, none particularly notable and then sky goes dark and the world goes silent again. 

"We should get some rest," says Hunter finally  "I'll take first watch, Quin your next, I'll wake you when the time comes."

Quin nods, settling herself down near the tree. 

"Sebastian, Santana," he looks at him and Santana and Sebastian can see the pity that lies just behind his gaze, "Just sleep it off." 

But Sebastian can't sleep it off, he spends the whole night tossing and turning on his thin blanket. The screams repeating over and over again in his head, the face of agony as he slashes the boy right across the stomach. He can't close his eyes, he's too afraid to, he doesn't want to see their faces anymore. 

And then there's the silence, deafening, deafening silence, so loud that he can hear his heart thumping in his chest. 

He drifts in and out of sleep, waking once or twice to hear the crunch in the snow as Hunter or Quin move around, then one particular time he wakes up to hushed conversation and just barely catches the sentences. 

He wishes he hadn't. 

"She's completely shut down."

"I've known Santan for a long time, by tomorrow she'll be pushing through the grief, she doesn't dwell on these sorts of things." 

"She better."

Silence.

"He's not going to make it, you know that right? He nearly puked."

There's a sigh, "I know."

And so does Sebastian. God does he know. 

* * *

 

Hunter gets everyone up at sunrise, at least what they can see of a sunrise, the sky is overcast and the snow has begun to pick up obscuring it from view. Sebastian shivers in his thin layered jacket and wraps his blanket around himself in an attempt to keep warm, it's minimal but it's good enough. Santana is already up, sorting through her knives intently, sharpening them with some flint. Quin says something and she laughs and Sebastian could swear that she's a completely different person from the brooding girl last night. 

_Hunter wasn't kidding._

Hunter hands them all a bag of mystery food and they eat as Hunter explains his "tactics" for getting as many tributes as possible in as little time as possible. 

"They longer it takes the more rations we need," he explains "And we're starting to get low as it is, there was a lot of stuff at the cornucopia but there wasn't  _t_ _hat_ much."

They set off shortly after that, supply bags on each of their backs, Sebastian gripping his cold spear for dear life, tagging behind. 

"So, anybody got any ideas as to who we are targeting first?" Santana finally says about an hour in. 

"Already got that covered," Hunter interjects "We have the most energy and food right now at the beginning of the games therefore it's easier for us to start taking out our strongest competitors and work our way down as we all get weaker." 

It sounds like a pretty solid plan, Sebastian thinks, until the realization hits him. 

"But that means _they're_ also at their strongest, shouldn't we wait until they get whittled down? Strike them when they're most vulnerable and preserve our energy by perusing lesser targets?" 

They all stop dead in their tracks to turn and stare at him surpise. 

Hunter gives an awkward half smile that does _things_ to Sebastian's stomach, "And here I was thinking there was nothing upstairs. You're actually smarter than you look." 

"What can I say? Not just a pretty face." says Sebastian with a smirk. 

"We're not seriously listening to _him_ are we?" protests Quin incredulously. 

Hunter turns to her, eyes narrowing, "You know what Quin? Just because you said that I think we will."

Santana snorts and Quin looks like her eyes might pop out from rage. 

"Right then it's settled, we'll start with the boys from District 12 and 8 and work our way up. Give them time to exhaust themselves." 

With that Hunter storms onward, signalling that the discussion is over. 

* * *

 

They run into nobody that day and as the set up camp for their second night Sebastian is starting to really feel the cold. His fingers feel numb, his toes feel number and he's in a constant state of shaking. 

Quin is the first one to notice and is, as always, tactful. 

"Are you seriously already freezing to death?" she snaps as he huddles up the fire pathetically. 

"N-no." He chatters out. It's not very convincing. 

Hunter looks up from his ration counting, eyes scanning over his body with a gaze so intense Sebastian suddenly feels stark naked. 

"You're anemic aren't you Sebastian?" 

"W-hat? I-I don't know-" Sebastian splutters. 

Hunter interrupts, "Lethargy, pale skin, brittle nails and you feel the cold worse than a healthy person, you're anemic."

Well shit, that's not good. 

"F-fuck you." Sebastian grits out defensively. 

But Hunter just ignores him, instead removing his jacket and chucking it in Sebastian's general direction. 

"Take it, it will help with the cold." He says bluntly before returning his focus to their rations. 

Sebastian bites his pride and shrugs it on, reveling in the extra warmth. 

* * *

 

After eating  Quin and Santana take first watch, the sun just beginning to set behind the overcast. 

Leaving Sebastian and Hunter alone. 

A recipe for disaster if you ask Sebastian. 

They sit in silence because _of course they do_ , Sebastian staring at the flickering flames until Hunter finally speaks. 

"Feeling better?" 

Sebastian scoffs, "Why do you care?" 

"Need you alive." Hunter says bluntly, "You're useful to me." 

"Glad to be of service." 

Hunter sighs heavily before going back to being silent, eyes fixed in his lap. 

"How did you know? That I was anemic I mean." 

Hunter looks up at him, "My mother is a doctor. Well, the closest thing to a doctor you can get. I used watch patients for her." 

"Ah." 

More silence. 

"I noticed the bruising on your wrists too Sebastian." Hunter says, his voice suddenly much softer. 

Sebastian stares down as his wrists, bruises speckled in the shapes of finger prints, and suddenly he's back on the rooftop, Jeff's tongue in his mouth, grip tight on his wrists, breath hot and suffocating and-

No. Not now. He can't think about it right now.

"At the cornucopia-" 

"Don't." Hunter cuts in, "I know you're lying." 

_Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up._

Hunter sighs again, "We once had a girl come into the clinic," he starts "Really young, big orange curls, maybe ten or so. She had bruises like that-" he gestures to Sebastian,  "-all over her body. We were real confused until we saw the blood trickle down her leg-" he stops mid sentence, like it was too painful to continue. 

Sebastian feels the wave of nausea hit him full force and takes everything he has to stop himself from vomiting up his rations. 

Hunter is visibly shaking now, "Some fucking sick bastard jumped her on her way home from school. We later found out he was peace keeper, one of my dad's guys, he was furious." Hunter features suddenly twist into a smile, "We got a little militia together and beat him to a pulp then strung him up by his balls." 

Sebastian's mouth goes dry. 

"Why are you telling me this Hunter?" he croaks. 

Hunter cracks his knuckles and stares dead straight at him, eyes filled with fire larger then their own.

"Whoever it was who was responsible, if I survive this, will not live much longer Sebastian. I promise you." 

He believes him.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
